I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize