just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
