Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
