she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
