Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush

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(609): View more from New Jersey

People in love make me want to vomit

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(574): View more from Indiana

i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting

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(504): View more from Louisiana

how can getting a pizza be this hard?

(817): View more from Texas

when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.

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(619): View more from California

Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?

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(716): View more from New York

Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.

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(302): View more from Delaware

you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.

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