Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
