Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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