I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
