thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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