I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
