He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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