you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
