operation harelip BJ is a go
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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