If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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