That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
