Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
