If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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