I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm really busy with my period
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