I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
