So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
