I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
