I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I look better un-naked...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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