Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
