Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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