The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize