16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
