Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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