My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
