So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do vagina's smell?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need a beard to bite.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
