No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I believe in your delicious
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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