Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
