I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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