Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
