I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
