If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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