i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
