Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
