Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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