i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize