ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
