note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
