'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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