brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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