if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
