he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
