Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize