Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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