you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize