He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
