Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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