You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
