if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize