i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We have started to decorate penises.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Randomize
