Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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