Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
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