i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
