I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
